Keep controversy out of it.
...and we do...for the most part...because as Ron White so famously stated in a comedy routine, "You can't fix stupid."
Which often means that we let stupid go on rants in living rooms and backyards around the country, while educated and thoughtful people sit quietly, realizing that they cannot, conceptually, change a moron.
We've all done it. Let the person with the worst ideas and the loudest voice rant until someone pipes up at a downbeat in conversation, "So, do you think the Cubs will win the pennant this year?" (Or if you are the granddaughter of Eleanor, "Do you think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?")
We change the topic. We move on and hope that the person doing the speaking will get the hint.
The trouble is, silence is often confused with agreement. We change the topic and move as quickly as possible to a banal and meaningless topic.
Sports, the weather, a movie, puppies, kittens...unicorns.
ANYTHING which will get us past the uncomfortable conversation.
This week, seven different times, someone took their last breath because, as a whole, we are a nation of people avoiding uncomfortable conversations.
We've muzzled ourselves in the name of manners and in the meantime let intolerant and dangerous viewpoints to take centerstage.
I'm still in the process of assessing my feelings about this week and working through the notions of my own privilege v. the notion that I'm muzzling my own voice on matters I care deeply about. I'll get back to that in another time.
This week, as the bodies of 7 people grew cold, I thought about the muzzle I have put on myself and realized that if there is to be change, it's not going to be one huge sweeping change. We are not building an arc in preparation of 40 days and 40 nights of rain.
Change will be minute, possibly unnoticed differences that average nobodies, like me, make. Change will be found in the small things we do differently and how those small differences add up. A penny's worth of change will eventually add up to a dollar...and from there...
So tonight, for the first time, I challenged polite company. At a gathering in which I knew no one but my friend who had invited me, the conversation went political and in the midst of a conversation over immigration, this weeks violence came up.
I, who have sat quietly so many times and waiting for the conversation to change, stood up...quietly, as I did not want to make a scene, I stated, "I'm sorry, we can debate safe borders forever, but I cannot let you continue discussing this weekend violence without speaking up."
I did not raise my voice, I did not "fight fire with fire" and it was hard. Difficult because I wanted to take him down and expose him for the uninformed racist he appears to be, difficult because I was afraid that I was causing controversy in an unknown situation.
But yet, confident in the knowledge that this small change was important to me.
With an even tone I corrected his information. Politely, I let him know that the information he was referencing had been disproved. Respectfully, I told him that, I, indeed feel strongly that Black Lives Matter, but not because I feel that other lives do not matter. Indeed, because all lives matter, Black Lives have to matter as well...and right now, the universe is showing us in brilliant definition, that we have failed to reinforce that Black Lives Matter.
We must do better. Skin color is NOT a weapon. A black mother should not be required to teach her child to be polite, respectful and stay alive. No mother should have to teach their child to keep their hands visible at all times, in the event of a brush with enforcement.
Today, I made a small change and challenged the loudest voice in the room. Today, I utilized the privilege that I have been born into and challenged tacit agreement. Today, I did not change the conversation by discussing the weather, but rather by raising my voice in peaceful defiance.
Today, I made a minute change and quietly hoped for a better tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment