possible it has something to do with the abusive situation at work? yes.
possible it has something to do with my advanced level of exhaustion and crippling feelings of being overwhelmed? yes.
but, thanks to a great friend, i left my feelings of sadness at the professional level.
i started...and just for a second...to add my personal shortcomings.
I was stopped, literally, dead in my tracks.
"Before you get all fucking melancholy, can i remind you that this is the same dude who you found ACTUAL PHOTOS of his junk, in your bed, that were sent to craigslist transvestites? Or do I need to point out that this happened more than once. Or that he was looking for hookers in foreign countries THIS YEAR?"
Ummm...i tried to interject...
"Let me remind you that you found him at some girls house and that he LIED TO YOUR FACE, while you WERE STANDING IN HER DRIVEWAY and said that he wasn't sleeping with her...and that this was AFTER he accidentally sent you the incest porn videos of herself that she sent him?"
Ummm...one can't really argue when the topic of "mommy porn" comes up.
"Your struggles have been real this year, baby girl. They've been real and they've been sad and they've caused you to loose an alarming amount of body weight. I hear you talk about work and my heart goes out to you because I love you so damn much and you work so damn hard and you're being abused at work."
I love you...and I'm starting to tear up.
"But this is professional and you'll live through it. But let's NOT get sad about the personal stuff...because he's in no way a wonderful man you lost. He's a sick puppy, a pervert and a sex addict who used the best parts of you until you had nothing more to give and even then, he humiliated you. Who the fuck in the world thinks sending dick picks to craiglist shemales is okay.?!?!? Honey, you have the emails. You have the screenshots, you have the proof. If you ever feel like you're forgetting, go back and look at that. Go back and remind yourself how you felt in that chick's driveway reading those texts about having someone having rug burn from their sex session. Remind yourself that for everything that you are and everything you ever will be...that this person is not worthy of you. He's not a catch, no one else wants him...and neither do you. Let that fucker be someone you used to know."
Thanks for quoting that fucking song, you bitch.
"That's what i'm here for, honey...doses of reality and well placed lyric references. But in all reality, He's a loser, he'll always be one...and that will be all he will find because that's all he can be. You spent enough time in the loser chair. Time for a new seat."
...in those words...I got un-sad. I remembered that he lives a giant lie. That this is baggage I can put down...and leave right where it is.
...and with those words, I realized...to have loving and caring friends...who levy a dose of reality and unwavering devotion...that's just magic.
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