With all that change, I decided to boldly venture into an unknown territory and try on-line dating.
Perhaps it was my inexperience or perhaps it is because I essentially jumped in with two feet, I found the experience overwhelming and quickly abandoned the project.
A few weeks ago, much to my anger and dismay, I discovered that my eharmony membership was on auto-renewal. Therefore, my quick foray into on-line dating inadvertently nailed me for another $140 bones...and those bastards wouldn't...give...it...back...
This shot a white hot bolt of anger through me...and I decided to "beat them at their own game." and use the damn service.
Yes, I realize there is some sort of irony in that entire statement.
However, as I will mention in other blogs which I can't seem to get around to finishing, I've recently decided to set up some parameters for my dating life...a few guidelines...some rules.
I'm Catholic, we Catholics really enjoy clear sets of rules. At least we are fully aware of breaking them.
This time, as I more "dip my toe" into online dating, I'm doing it with some guidelines and rules.
Needless to say, the Sly Kitten, Gucci and Emcee have been involved in various discussions about these rules and it's come up several times that said gentlemen might be off-put by my parameters.
I have opted to go with it anyway. I don't think my parameters are overbearing, nor do I think I'm being bitchy, snobby or rude to have them and to follow them.
If you think less of me or don't like it...it's okay...we're probably not a good match.
I had the realization that online dating is not really a popularity contest, any more than receiving 200 likes on something you post on Facebook is not indicator of your overall influence in the world. I'm going through and ending conversations with people I don't think are compatible and sometimes that requires a split minute judgement on how they answered a question. Might I miss someone who I might have had a nice evening with? Probably. Might I also strengthen my chances at finding someone who I might be able to spend a few nice evenings with? Certainly.
The main parameters are simple:
I have decided that I do not text date. It's been my assessment that text messaging stifles actual conversation and actually getting to know someone. Therefore, I have decided that, at least with boys I'm potentially going to go on a date with, text message must be replaced with actual phone calls. Corollary: Text messaging is appropriate for sending the address of where we are meeting or confirming details. But otherwise, guess what: the phone makes calls too.
Once you have called to ask me out, please create some sort of a plan. It projects at least a vague interest and subtly lets me know that you're at least somewhat for real. It's disheartening to be asked out and then asked to make the plans.
You're not coming home with me. Don't ask.
In the interest of full disclosure, I developed these parameters prior to this online dating fete, but honestly have not had the opportunity to put them into practice. It's now been a week and last night I had the first opportunity to give someone my phone number and tell them not to text me.
Sly Kitten said "He's going to think you're WEIIIRRRRDDD!"
I said "He probably will anyway, this is the least weird thing about me."
In the end, last night I had the opportunity to try it out twice. It was hard to phrase. The conversation goes like this.
(Paraphrasing)
Him: Lets meet up! Here is my number!
Me: Great, I'd love too, Here is my number, and...
What do I say here? I don't text? He's going to find out that's a lie. How do you phrase it to not sound standoffish.
"I'd rather talk than text, give me a call"
"Here's the rub, I prefer not to text, looking forward to your call"
I've tried both of these out, now, last night.
I had both results. One guy never responded and I looked into my messages and he's hidden himself. The other one called.
We're meeting up for a cupcake tonight. He said he appreciated that I didn't want to text. We spoke for a bit last night.
He's probably not "the one" he might not be anyone. But the fact that I requested to not passively communicate and told him I was down to meet up and take part in a plan that I did not create, he reacted too in the way, I presume, men do...
He just did it.
Week one: Over and out.
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