Irrational love of Disney? Check. Improper use of basic grammar?(including but not limited too "your" v "you're" and there, their, they're) Check. Drinking white zinfandel? Check.
Each of these things evokes an involuntary response from wherein, I automatically think less of you. The list is not comprehensive and is ever growing...As I get older, I find more and more things that illicit an automatic and negative response from me.
There are a host of other things that trigger this response from me.
One of them is car signage and vanity license plates.
*Disclaimer to those of my friends who possess either of these things. I've already judged you and may or may not have deemed your other qualities a sufficient offset or I might make fun of you behind your back. You'll never know...
However, it's safe to assume that if your car features a "Baby on Board" sign, I'm judging you for your own stupidity each time I see you or whenever I think about it. Which ever is more frequent.
Straight talk: Those little signs are eff-ing stupid and if you have one on your car, you are eff-ing stupid as well.
It's generally considered in poor form to ram other vehicles while driving...and there are a bevy of ramifications that come to pass if, while in the course of operating a motor vehicle, you choose to ignore this general rule and go blithely on ramming vehicles. Namely, they will cease to allow you to drive.
There are also a number of "Road Rage" laws in place, which give strict stipulations as to the consequences of driving like an asshole.
Because, in general, you should not drive like an asshole, no matter what the passenger situation is in the vehicles surrounding you.
I am uncertain what the purpose of these bold yellow signs are, other than to serve as a general warning to the surrounding divers, that you, in fact, are a moron. Somewhere along the way, you registered for this item or purchased it yourself and went to the trouble to place it in your car. Somewhere along the line you decided to put up a bold sign that proclaims you as someone who not only makes poor decisions about automobile signage, but about spending money in general. It's like you are driving around with a little yellow sign that proclaims you to be a sucker.
Do the drivers with these signs think that people who pass them, see the sign and say to themselves, "Oh shit, better not ram that car, there is a BABY ON BOARD...and I wouldn't want to cause harm to them. I'll go ram this car on the left, it's filled with completely disposable adults."
or
"That car has a representative of the next generation of drivers in it, I need to slow down and follow all major driving laws, so that this youngster sees NOTHING but good examples of automobile operation. "
The answer is...no.
According to my very unscientific poll (in which I texted the Emcee and asked for her thoughts on the issue)...most of us see those signs and think:
"That driver is a moron. I'm glad I don't know them...and eff them if I do. I think less of them now."
or
"Maybe I should zip up and whip around that car at breakneck speed and shout, "I WANTED TO SEE THE BABY!"
I'm just kidding about that second one, although the thought crosses my mind when I see those signs. Much like laying on my horn for a significant amount of times crosses my mind when I see people with a "honk if you love XX" sticker. Even if I don't love XX, I'm more than willing to scare the shit of said person in the name of loving XX.
I am certainly not driving any differently around you because you have a baby on board and I'm no less forgiving of your poor driving if you do have a baby on board. Shitty driving is shitty driving. If you are driving slow in the left lane, I don't care who's safety you are protecting, you are in my way.
The most comical thing is when I see a sign on the car of someone who is ALSO driving like an asshole. I truly miss the point of these signs at this point. Is that an excuse? ("The baby's crying and I had to drive this way to get home faster")
Unless you are targeting yourself for natural selection, it's really just time to take down these signs. As a car driving public, we will make every attempt to NOT ram your car.
But not because there is a baby on board, but because its just a damn good idea.
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