'Gave it up for Lent

I thought that I would miss it more...honestly...and occasionally, there are moments that I do miss certain aspects. But not enough. Not enough for all the times it's made me feel bad or I judged myself based on someone else's posts and found that I came up short. I don't miss that sinking feeling.

I'm talking about, of course, Facebook. 

I've had my page deactivated about two weeks now. After the initial shock of NOT knowing what 1200 or so random friends and family are doing...I got used to it. After I got used to it...I got to sort of liking it. 

It's virtually impossible to keep current with so many different people from so many different times throughout my life any other way. 

It's also not necessary. 

Sure, it's nice to know if someone has done something wonderful. But it's not really necessary. It's great to see pictures of my friends and family that I don't get to see much and keep with their lives that way...

But again, it's not really necessary.

More over, now that I've had a few weeks "off" the book of Faces....I realize that no one is dying without knowing what I'm doing, where I'm going and who I'm doing it with. 

It turns out that as much as I have found that I don't miss having people's dinner schedules, vacations, children and achievements on a constant scroll...it turns out that no one is missing my updates either. 

I've found that I'm spending more time in the moment and less time trying to capture the moment. I think that's a good thing. 

While there are certain things I DO miss about my Facebook feed...there are number of things I realized I DO NOT miss:

1) I don't really care what you are eating for dinner...or lunch...or breakfast....especially not several times a week. Bitch, I know you can cook...and I'm sure you are making GREAT dinners for your family. I just don't care about them. Unless you are going to swing by the hotel with a plate for me too...I can safely say...I don't need a meal by meal photo essay of your culinary feats. 

2) Your kid. Every. Damn. Day. You have cute kids, I promise! But every single thing they do does NOT require documentation to the public. Here's a tip from someone who a) has never parented and b) never wants to parent...(so you know you can take me very seriously) YOUR KID WOULD RATHER YOU PLAY WITH THEM THAN PHOTOGRAPH THEM. 

I promise, no harm will come to your children if they do not have documentation of every.single.event. in their lives. If you miss a few things because you are busy living, well, that's okay. 

3)Vacations. I don't have time to take them and I'm intensely jealous that you do. Just kidding. But in all reality, put down the phone and enjoy your damn trip. Be retro and make everyone enjoy your vacation pictures when you get home. Hell, be REALLY retro and invite them over and make them watch a slideshow set to music of your trip to Daytona. They'll love that, I swear. 

4) Your gym pics. I don't care if it's leg day or arm day or if you've taken 12 yoga classes today. Good for you for making such healthy (if not slightly crazy decisions) But I don't care and I don't miss these posts. 

5) Your feelings on vaccination, GMO's, organic food, natural cures, breastfeeding until your kid is 17 and getting ready for prom. I don't care and no one else does either. You can stop sharing a picture of a box of Oreos with a skull and crossbones on it...because Oreos are delicious and I'm an adult and if I want Oreos, I can have them. I don't know ONE DAMN PERSON who uses Facebook as an information gathering service to shape their values. If it turns out that I actually do know someone who is doing this and I ever reactivate my page; I'm de-friending them immediately. I don't need such stupid friends. 

The truth is, no one thinks more of you because you buy only organic or because you are involved in a virtual march against a food company. If that's important to you...awesome! Go for it! However, if you are under the impression that sharing a picture or an article about a topic is going to make headway in convincing people of your cause...

I've got earth shattering news for you: It's not. 

I can promise that one night I read an hours worth of articles about the evils of Kraft Blue Box Mac N' Cheese, while actually eating a bowl full of the stuff. It was delicious. If Yellow #5 is wrong, then I don't want to be right. 

6)How much you love your significant other. I'm certain that you think that this person hung the moon, why else would you be with them?

I don't need to hear about it. I especially don't need to hear about it multiple times a week. I especially don't miss that uniquely annoying type of couple who post "I love you baby, you're the best husband in the whole world" only to get a "No! You're the best, I love you the most." response and go back and forth from there.

Don't you people have text message?

If your love is that amazing, you probably DON'T need to post about it on Facebook. Everyone already knows. If you are posting on Facebook about your amazing life...it's very likely that it's not all that amazing. 

7) Selfies. Here is a brief list of types of selfies that I do not miss. 

-Taken in a car, with the seatbelt on. 

-Taken while you look off into the distance and are looking deeply contemplative.
-Any selfies taken in a mirror

-Gym Selfies.

-Any selfies that were taken in your bed or in your bathroom. 

In general, I'm anti-selfie. Possibly this is because I personally look like a mutant from the majority of selfie angles. Perhaps I'm jealous. 

Perhaps not. 

Ask someone else to take a damn picture for you. 

8) Random requests for good thoughts or prayers, but neglecting to tell anyone what is going on.

Quit being so damn dramatic. 

9) Facebook invites to come see your band/art show/purchase shit from your kids school/purchase shit from your home based business. Just stop it.